belief

i was recently watching some of the nooma videos - with Rob Bell. I find them all really making me ask serious questions about myself and learning new ideas about how i live. one of them was talking about the disciples and how they were not "the best of the best", but one of the many kids who weren't good enough to be a disciple of a rabbi (learn to be who the rabbi was). they were the kids who instead went and learned the family business. so when Jesus came around (a rabbi) and asked them to be his disciples, of course they were willing to drop everything to follow him ... (i can't really go into the depth of the movie but Jesus went out of his way to pick the ones who were not picked - to prove a point that we are all equal, and we all are worthy of following him and striving to be like him.)
i used to think it was kind of funny how these men just dropped everything because he asked them too... but when you look at it from the perspective of the culture, Jesus asking them to following him as a huge honor...
but when he left, he asked all of us to do the same thing - to pick up our crosses and follow him - leave the world behind and live our lives to be like him in everything we do....
he believed in us (i think that such an incredible idea that Rob Bell makes in this - God believes in us - so much so that he gave us the task of loving others for him and serving others for him... (He said that what we do for the least of them we do to him)...when he left the ball in our court believing that we.. flawed sinfilled unperfect humans had the capability to strive after him and be like him...and he knows we are bound to screw up - but when you know that you the God of the universe has that much faith in us as humans - it is an incredible thing to fathom..
and it makes me want to try that much harder to be like him and to know more about him, cause the more i find out, the more i realize that there are more things wrong with my life then i would ever be able to count... Jesus left us with the commandment to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and all our strength and love our neighbour as ourselves...
well in order to truly love our neighbour we must first love our God and from there the Lord will love people through us. it's not us that can love unconditionally, but Jesus who loved unconditionally and to do that we need to see people as Jesus did, and we cannot do that without striving after him (our rabbi) and learning from him every day, every chance we get....
I want to pick up that cross every minute of every day and walk with him knowing in my heart that even when i fail miserably and i stumble all the time that at the end of the day he believes in my abilities and my willingness to drop my pride and ask for his hand to help me (yet again) ... and that he loves me enough to take my hand ever time and love me and believe in me more than ever ... that is borderline crazy... but am i thankful for his mercy and kindness, cause without it i don't want to know where i would be...

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