Out of the Ashes

alright... I have been thinking about my life recently... and come to the impression that ... "man this life is boring and predictable and useless.. and starting to lose meaning...and nothing make sense... and i'm not happy or joyful.. or anything .. in fact i can be pretty apathetic at times and when i look around me i see a lot of the same things.. in a lot of people i know... although some do hide it better than othes.." so i guess the questions are... where along the way have we traded in love for hate, sedentary or active, passionate for bored . . . when have we decided that living a life style after Jesus Christ was boring and laid back... and how did we ever get here... into this predictable everyday existence that drains every bit of life and enjoyment out of everything we do... we get up ... do our thing... go to work or school or whatever it is we do... we come home we eat we do homework, take care of the kids or watch t.v. or go on the internet or listen to the

"if my life made sense to me right now.. i wonder how much i would lean on you. the fact that i know you're ahead of this troubled time has brought me closer to you in ways that wouldn't have occured through any other circumstances then these... in order to come out of this alive i need you to come to my rescue and be the one i count on when everyone else around me has disappeared and i have all but given up. it is the time when all i have to hold onto is hope to get me to the other side of this without drowning ... this is when i have needed you the most and you have shown me yourself ... your heart ... And i will try not to forget this time with you. I will remember it as nothing less then when i truly fell in love with my Saviour for the first time." ac

Authenticity is a difficult idea ... when i look at how many people know me and understand me as me... i can't put too many names down that fit into that catagory. I've been trying to think through why that is. ... i mean i'm sure that it's different for every person - we've all been through our issues and our problems that have brought us to this specific time in our lives and all the minutes and hours that turn into years.. have brought us here.. with all the genetic and social aspects of what that means. SO... when is it that i chose to be authentic with someone (or at least start to be ... different people see different authenticity level of you at a time - i mean by saying that you can be kind of authentic with one person and be more authentic as to who you really are towards another .. and you slowly build up from there.. ) okey - once you start deciding or choosing to be authentic and open up to another person .. i think you start off slowly.. showing parts o

we are on an adventure – we have been put here and half the time we have no idea exactly what kind of story we are in and we rarely question the bigger picture – we get so caught up in our worlds and the soap opera’s around us that we forget that there is a bigger story and a bigger reason that we are here. But, our heart, the place where Jesus resides, knows exactly why we are here and God speaks to us through it – pulling us towards his greater purpose. You can drown out his voice by keeping busy and always making sure that you are always going- like the energizer bunny with a purpose and a plan – but have you ever stopped to wonder if your plan has anything to do with the plan you have designed in your head – have you recently stopped to listen – and I mean really listen to what God is saying to your heart… have you heard him whispering to you late at night – asking you if you want something more – if you are thirsty for what this world can never supply? This voice is not asking you

"confusion is rushing over me like a thick black blanket or like the clouds cover the stars. Lost in this state, as it envelops all sources of light that were leading me anywhere. All I have left to go by is the sound of your voice as it speaks to my heart. As it leads me towards anywhere but here. At times it's hard to even tell the difference between you and the evil one that comes to prey on my fear. but, if you keep calling me I will always answer and keep following you . I promise to never give up on you. Please reassure me the same." ac