Showing posts from August, 2005

a love so completely undeserved from a God continually let down

one thing i have come to realize now more than ever is that there are so many people out there and that most of them are suffering from a lack of love.. from everyone... including myself.
we all walk around here and get caught up in our own worlds of whatever we do on a regular basis... of what our week consists of ... and the air of hypocracy crawls around me like a black cloud.... Where did Jesus go too in all of this... where did his radical ideas and out of the box of conventionalism go to ... we seem to have lost sight of exactly what God has called us to do... he didn't say we all need to go out and tell the world they are going to hell... he said we need to go out and make disciples and to love our neighbour (ie. other people) as ourselves... to go out and have lunch with the sick and to be friends with the social outcasts and broken spirited... we are not here to help the heathy - they don't need the help... how do we get so caught up in ourselves... how did selfishness…

here with me

"through many periods of darkness
i am catching glimpses of your light
and warmth
washing over me here.
even though i can't see your face
or hear your voice in an audible sense
i can tell you are here
with me in this moment.
i see you in so many places and things
that i cannot believe i forget or overlook
your majesty.
i can be so stubburn and prideful
that ignore your plan for my life
and treat it so
but, in this stillness - in this beauty that you created
I am soaking you into my soul
and rejuvinating my life
while enjoying every bit of your creation.
And yet, it is distinctly possibly i
will once again discredit all you have done,
taking it all into my own incapable hands.
cause somehow,
no matter how much you love
me i will enevitably fail at this game
as i puppet fails to stand on it's own.
There is no concievable reason
for my life to deserve redemtion
looking thru these human eyes,
but i guess that's the
unconditional love in it all -
cause through the good and the
you remain.…

the unseen dreamer

"I don't know exactly
what's going on
how i ended up here
i remember you
i remember your smile
i remember those
incredible eyes
i remember your intoxicating
life that i would
lose myself in

but you never saw me
and i can't blame you
for that

so as i sit here
drinking my coffee and
mulling over
the many memories
i have in my head
i could feel so many
different ways

the only one that
seems fitting
is to keep
remembering you
i saw you then
and dream of
the better days
ahead "

ac - 2004

the endless battle

funny how it always comes back to this...
me and you.
no matter how long i stay away for
or how much i hear from you
my world revolves around us
(the us that never was)
how can i put so much energy
into leaving you behind
and only end up
digging my heels in further??
I am fighting a loosing battle
and i almost feel now
like i'm wasting my time

my soul is tired of waiting
for a dream it never even tasted
but it seems my heart is
set against surrendering
to the one thing it can never win"

ac - 2003


there is this Sarah Mclachlan song that i absolutly love.and anyone who knows me at all know i think Sarah Mclachlan is about the best singer/songwriter out there... it is written as a love song but every time i here it i think of everything that God does for me and the song reminds me of him more than anything...
anyway .. here it is..

Push - Sarah Mclachlan

"Everytime I look at you the world just melts away.
All my troubles, all my fears dissolve in your affections,
cause you see me at my weakest, but you take me as I am
and when I fall you offer me a softer place to land.

You stay the course, you hold the line
you keep it all together
Your the one true thing I know i can
believe in
YOu're all the things that I desire
you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I
can believe.

Well, I get mad so easy, but you give me room to breath
no matter what I say or do
cause your to good to fight about it
and even when I have to push
just to see how far you'll go
you won't s…