hidden fears

"I'm so afraid
of loving again,
of opening my heart up -
so terrified of rejection
and the sting that
lasts for so long
after everything is said and done
and i'm left alone with only my thoughts

how do i put myself there again...
when there are so many times
when i just wasn't good enough -
not enough of what they wanted..
i don't want to change who i am
just to have love returned
but it always seems to be the only way...
i guess i just seem to get
lost in the shadows of everyone else.
and never quite enough.

my confidence is lacking words to make
me feel better and convince me
that i can be myself.
Lord i need you to love me
and be all i need
now and forever

i just don't want to end up
with another one of these
scars on my heart
tainted by unrequited love"

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