My Grandma

you know... i've been wondering how life would be when you are old and you start to loose your sight. A few days ago my grandma was telling me that a few days earlier, before I had arrived - she started crying uncontrolably, she said she wasn't exactly sure why but she was remembering what she was like in November before she got so blind and how different her life is now and she started to cry and couldn't stop. and this was from a women who isn't very comfortable showing emotion.
It just made me really realize how her life must feel right now and how when you start loosing your senses (such as your eyes ) life changes so much and you are no longer independant... it must be terrifying and really depressing all at the same time.
She used to take care of everyone and could do anything ... and now she has to depend on me (or someone else) to do simple everyday tasks - writing a check, or reading the paper (or anything else), or taking a bath, etc etc...
Anyway, that is my thought today... I can't even believe how well she is doing under the circimstances.. the real hero in her situation is her... she is so strong and is dealing with everything so well considering all the things she is going through... the cancer, the pnemonia, the cellulitis, the metatstisized cancer, loosing eyesight and whatever comes next... she takes everything as they come and although she worries at times, she stays together and it is an amazing thing to watch.. i only hope when the time comes for me to go through my last days that i takes things half as well as she does... she is my hero and I love her and respect her for everything she is and everything she does...her inner strength and love for her family is an incredible thing to behold.


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