undeserving

"everything about this situation
is leading me towards the fact that
i should be running
as fast as i can
in the opposite
direction
. . .
i guess thats what
passed
experiences do
to someone like
me

i don't want to risk
my heart again cause the
last time it almost killed me
and now i guess
it jaded me to the
place where
i have trouble believing
that love is
an attainable thing for
me

cause the looming
thought of the rejection
(that will most likly
fall from this)
is too scary for
my heart to
cope with

so, as always
i am here at your feet Lord,
praying for guidance
from you once again
hoping that you
will pick me up and
and tell me that
everything will be ok.

I know that i should be
content right here
(with me and you)
and yet most of the time
i have this unrelenting
need in the back of my
head that wants to
know i am
someone that
someone else could love.
i know you have control
of this,
in my heart,
but i'm having a hard
time convincing my
doubting self conscious head
. . .
please remind it once again"

ac

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