holding on

"i am sitting here you
missing you more than my
fragile heart can take.
i want to be bold, to tell you everything
i feel
(feelings that words could never fully explain).
i long to talk to you, to hear your voice,
but beyond all that, to let my eyes see you again
and my hands to touch you
so i know if it is real
or just a dream.

what must i do to convice you i am good enough
(what must i do to convince myself?)
good enough to be your girl, your love.
i wish i wasn't so afraid of the outcome

if only you could feel my love, hear how much
love is in my heart,
how it beats with so much love for you.
but for now i wait.
wait for a chance, for a bit of hope to shine though,
giving me something small to hold on to...
in hopes that one day it will be your heart."

ac - 2002

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Decade Past - a New One Beginning

Image
Saturday July 7th 2007 -  The day I arrived here - beautiful Victoria BC Canada. It is crazy to think that was a  decade ago - just shy of 24 years old - not having a clue what was coming, only that I needed a change. A chance to find myself , a chance to see what my heart wanted, what my soul was crying out for. All I knew is I needed a change. I had done all the growing up that London Ontario had for me ... so it was time to take everything - all my preconceived notions of my self and what others thought of me - or what I thought they thought of me. I need to try and leave that behind and find the room to make the mistakes and have the set backs without judgement of familiarity and ideas of what you were to become - those things in life that can hold us back (without even realizing it). I needed to take all my hurts, the darkness I lived in, and the pain that I hid with me and find a way out, find out who I truly was. I knew, deep down that this was the only way I was going to see
Read more

a story behind high functioning anxiety

Image
Let me tell you a story about a little girl. If you looked at this little girl's life from the outside, you may think that she has it all. A strong loving family and everything a little girl could need to start out in a positive way. Now, this little girl went to church and then school and learned very quickly through some early learned and/or picked up habits of interacting with people. Without getting into the how or why for now - no matter where she went or what she did - it seemed that she would get picked on, used, abused, or let down. On top of that, fear started driving her every move and decision. So, picture waking up each and every day, dreading the thought of leaving the house... to go anywhere or do anything. Especially school. Dreading the people you would have to be around and how they would (purposefully or unintentionally) make you feel a even less like a person and more like - at best an inconvenience and at worst a problem. So, her life was spent hiding from peo
Read more