always...never quite enough

"i'm never quite the girl
who's good enough
to be anymore than
the girl in the background.
somebody's good friend,
somebody's coach,
somebody's hero,
or
maybe a great person
but,
i'm the one who's
a little to quiet
or
not quiet enough.
a little to radical,
or
too conservative.
the girl who dresses a little to
out of the box
which is cool,
but not an attractive
quality to any man she may love.
willing to steop out of
the mold long enough
for too many people
to noitce and
yet pretend they didn't.
i'm the girl who is never quite
what anyone is looking for.
never pretty enough,
never old enough,
never dress right,
maybea good idea in a time
when outsides don't matter
as much as what someone
is made of on the inside.
when inner beauty
was the most beautiful thing
of all...
in a time when beauty is seen
even if not pretty everyday.
but in this world,
i'm just your average looking,
early twenty something
who never says enough and
who always fades into
the background
and maybe thought of as weird...
who is never quite
special enough
to be noticed
by more than a fleeting glance
and never quite
the love of any
man's life.
here on earth
things are complicated
and i never quite fit
the picture of
what anyone is looking for
except for my heavenly father
who loves me for exactly who i
am and if that is all
i get...
it is more than enough
to get me
through this short
quest in this
complex and unforgiving world."

ac - 2005