stumbling through darkness

brought up from the early blogging days - but thought that the renaming of the blog needed some extra explaination....

anyway here it is ...

"spiraling out of control
when will this neverending ride
come to a stop?

i cant see
in front of me
as it quickly disappears
into hindsight
and i have lost all
sense of
direction
anyway

i may look calm and cool
but that is no reflection
of the raging emotions
my soul is fighting

(it has seemed a loosing battle from the start)

i wish i felt
the way i come across
so strong
able to handle anything
but the truth is ...
i am weak,
broken and bruised
from the twists and turns
life's wild ride
is conjuring up

i have hit one to many walls
and stumbled in the dark
on so many roots
that i have had to start crawling
lacking the strength to make it any other way

one day i will make it to the end
of this
but for now all i can do
is wait, keep the faith,
push on through this journey
cause right now I do not possess the
courage and ability
to come out of this alive...
my body might not be capable of much
but you are what i am lacking
and you are my only hope
on making through 'till morning
stillbreathing"

ac

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

always...never quite enough

"i'm never quite the girl who's good enough to be anymore than the girl in the background. somebody's good friend, somebody's coach, somebody's hero, or maybe a great person but, i'm the one who's a little to quiet or not quiet enough. a little to radical, or too conservative. the girl who dresses a little to out of the box which is cool, but not an attractive quality to any man she may love. willing to steop out of the mold long enough for too many people to noitce and yet pretend they didn't. i'm the girl who is never quite what anyone is looking for. never pretty enough, never old enough, never dress right, maybea good idea in a time when outsides don't matter as much as what someone is made of on the inside. when inner beauty was the most beautiful thing of all... in a time when beauty is seen even if not pretty everyday. but in this world, i'm just your average looking, early twenty something who never says enough and who always fad...
Read more

Using Your Past to Change the World

I went head first  into explaining some of  the darkness I have faced in my previous post with basically a brief breakdown of what I felt and went through in my life and how I could see my way out of it. What I didn't explain though was how some of those hard places, those habitual ways of dealing with people as well as some of the ways I interacted with the world and towards yourself, could still be used for much good after some healing has taken place. When you live your life in a way that numbs, hides, or discounts your needs and you become a chameleon of sorts, you have a unique ability going forward to find yourself in situations later in life that you may be uncomfortable with and yet hide said discomfort and push your way through it because you had learned how to be someone else for so long. Or, you can be present in many different situations others may find extremely uncomfortable or not be willing to be apart of (for many different reasons). I am trying hard to exp...
Read more

nonsensical

"how do you not see me? and how can i feel so passionatly about us when it as never even crossed your mind? and how can i see something that is so far beyond possiblity?" ac
Read more