"i'm never quite the girl who's good enough to be anymore than the girl in the background. somebody's good friend, somebody's coach, somebody's hero, or maybe a great person but, i'm the one who's a little to quiet or not quiet enough. a little to radical, or too conservative. the girl who dresses a little to out of the box which is cool, but not an attractive quality to any man she may love. willing to steop out of the mold long enough for too many people to noitce and yet pretend they didn't. i'm the girl who is never quite what anyone is looking for. never pretty enough, never old enough, never dress right, maybea good idea in a time when outsides don't matter as much as what someone is made of on the inside. when inner beauty was the most beautiful thing of all... in a time when beauty is seen even if not pretty everyday. but in this world, i'm just your average looking, early twenty something who never says enough and who always fad...
"how do you not see me? and how can i feel so passionatly about us when it as never even crossed your mind? and how can i see something that is so far beyond possiblity?" ac
I went head first into explaining some of the darkness I have faced in my previous post with basically a brief breakdown of what I felt and went through in my life and how I could see my way out of it. What I didn't explain though was how some of those hard places, those habitual ways of dealing with people as well as some of the ways I interacted with the world and towards yourself, could still be used for much good after some healing has taken place. When you live your life in a way that numbs, hides, or discounts your needs and you become a chameleon of sorts, you have a unique ability going forward to find yourself in situations later in life that you may be uncomfortable with and yet hide said discomfort and push your way through it because you had learned how to be someone else for so long. Or, you can be present in many different situations others may find extremely uncomfortable or not be willing to be apart of (for many different reasons). I am trying hard to exp...
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