"i'm never quite the girl who's good enough to be anymore than the girl in the background. somebody's good friend, somebody's coach, somebody's hero, or maybe a great person but, i'm the one who's a little to quiet or not quiet enough. a little to radical, or too conservative. the girl who dresses a little to out of the box which is cool, but not an attractive quality to any man she may love. willing to steop out of the mold long enough for too many people to noitce and yet pretend they didn't. i'm the girl who is never quite what anyone is looking for. never pretty enough, never old enough, never dress right, maybea good idea in a time when outsides don't matter as much as what someone is made of on the inside. when inner beauty was the most beautiful thing of all... in a time when beauty is seen even if not pretty everyday. but in this world, i'm just your average looking, early twenty something who never says enough and who always fad...
"how do you not see me? and how can i feel so passionatly about us when it as never even crossed your mind? and how can i see something that is so far beyond possiblity?" ac
Saturday July 7th 2007 - The day I arrived here - beautiful Victoria BC Canada. It is crazy to think that was a decade ago - just shy of 24 years old - not having a clue what was coming, only that I needed a change. A chance to find myself , a chance to see what my heart wanted, what my soul was crying out for. All I knew is I needed a change. I had done all the growing up that London Ontario had for me ... so it was time to take everything - all my preconceived notions of my self and what others thought of me - or what I thought they thought of me. I need to try and leave that behind and find the room to make the mistakes and have the set backs without judgement of familiarity and ideas of what you were to become - those things in life that can hold us back (without even realizing it). I needed to take all my hurts, the darkness I lived in, and the pain that I hid with me and find a way out, find out who I truly was. I knew, deep down that this was the only way I was goin...
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