hear my unsaid words

"everything i
could ever hope
for is standing right
in front of me
and i let it pass me by
(without even a flinch)
i don't want to sit
back and let you
miss this
(miss us)
but i'm too
afraid and insecure to
believe that
i could ever be
good enough for
anyone
(let alone you)
. . .
is it too much
to ask for you
to want me
. . .
to need me?
. . .
before i send up flares
that show you
the writings
on my heart.
i want you
to find me
captivating -
to see me for all
i am and love me
despite my
failures.
to see me
and my naked
heart
and want no
one else

is that too much
to ask?"

ac

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Decade Past - a New One Beginning

Image
Saturday July 7th 2007 -  The day I arrived here - beautiful Victoria BC Canada. It is crazy to think that was a  decade ago - just shy of 24 years old - not having a clue what was coming, only that I needed a change. A chance to find myself , a chance to see what my heart wanted, what my soul was crying out for. All I knew is I needed a change. I had done all the growing up that London Ontario had for me ... so it was time to take everything - all my preconceived notions of my self and what others thought of me - or what I thought they thought of me. I need to try and leave that behind and find the room to make the mistakes and have the set backs without judgement of familiarity and ideas of what you were to become - those things in life that can hold us back (without even realizing it). I needed to take all my hurts, the darkness I lived in, and the pain that I hid with me and find a way out, find out who I truly was. I knew, deep down that this was the only way I was going to see
Read more

a story behind high functioning anxiety

Image
Let me tell you a story about a little girl. If you looked at this little girl's life from the outside, you may think that she has it all. A strong loving family and everything a little girl could need to start out in a positive way. Now, this little girl went to church and then school and learned very quickly through some early learned and/or picked up habits of interacting with people. Without getting into the how or why for now - no matter where she went or what she did - it seemed that she would get picked on, used, abused, or let down. On top of that, fear started driving her every move and decision. So, picture waking up each and every day, dreading the thought of leaving the house... to go anywhere or do anything. Especially school. Dreading the people you would have to be around and how they would (purposefully or unintentionally) make you feel a even less like a person and more like - at best an inconvenience and at worst a problem. So, her life was spent hiding from peo
Read more

nonsensical

"how do you not see me? and how can i feel so passionatly about us when it as never even crossed your mind? and how can i see something that is so far beyond possiblity?" ac
Read more