very little for so very much

"i saw you tonight
sitting beside me,
crying with me, and holding me
near to you
and
all i could think of
is
how could you
love me that much
. . .
as much as to die
for me
. . .
for my stupid hell deserving
soul that is so often
ungreatful and undeserving
of even the very air that
i am breathing into my lungs.
I wish i could promise you
that i will always live for you,
i wish i could promise you perfection.
But, in all of my trying
I continue to let you down,
so all i can give you
besides a measly thank you
is my life
(that i so often take into my own hands)
and my heart
(that will often doubt and even get angry)
and my soul
(which seems to be such an simple and unworthy gift)
and my praise
(that will remain only towards you for the rest of eternity)
and until i am
with you forever
that is all i have
but
words can't describe
how i wish i could give
everything you deserve
(for this is just so little
for all you
nailed to that tree)"

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